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  • Rachel Lehman

HOME ALONE


How do you function when you are home alone?  Do you enjoy it or does it scare you? Do you tend to hide? I have felt differently in different stages of my life.  I don't think there is any right or wrong way of doing things, unless you are one that hides at home in depression or one that tends to be gone all the time, away from family. Those things need some work.


As the years have gone by, I have learned more and more about being an introvert vs being an extrovert. I happen to be both, which is why I can be inside or I can be outside. I can't be out a lot though, as I have learned that I need downtime in my day. If I don’t care for myself and I start to overextend my schedule, I can start to get anxious and grouchy.  This took me years to figure out. I never understood this until I started putting forth some effort into getting to know myself. I had to set boundaries and learn to stick with them in order to care for myself. 


I meet some people who think they are an introvert, but I really feel its anxiety and fear that is keeping them at home. That's not being an introvert; but it is living by fear and anxiety. Some people say they are extroverts, but maybe they talk a lot because they are anxious about being alone or having quiet time. Trauma does different things to different people and I don't think you can really know who you are unless you spend some time evaluating yourself. The Holy Spirit will give us a good idea of who we are when we ask. 

Here's 3 questions you can ask yourself to help you know what kind of person you are and what is leading the way in your life:


1. Are you afraid to be alone?  

     Don't just ask yourself once, ask yourself several times over the next week or so. Really do some evaluation of yourself. If you are afraid to leave your house or afraid someone will come hurt you, ask yourself why?  Sometimes we speak fear over our lives so much that we start believing only bad can come. God can show you good and how to live free, but we MUST stop speaking fear over our lives. If you ARE in danger of death, do something about it. Contact authorities or speak to an advocate to help you put some safe-guards in place to protect yourself. Don't stay in a place of powerlessness but do something about it. Take an action. Ask God which direction to go.  Be brave and learn to stop speaking death over yourself and begin to say "I'm not going to die today. God is protecting me and has sent His angels to keep me safe. I'm not going to die by the hands of the person who abused me or by anyone else."  


2. Are you afraid to go out in public? 

     Ask yourself why?  Anxiety and fear usually run together. If you are afraid of people or have PTSD, do something about it. Talk to an advocate. Take piano lessons if you have always wanted to play the piano. The more a person stays at home and hides, the more fear overtakes their lives. It may not be something you can whip all at once but take an action. Try something new. If it doesn't work, try something else. I believe we all have a passion about something.  


Focusing on what I was passionate about is what helped me the most to overcome PTSD. It's crazy how it works, but it does. The more you focus on what you are good at and have a passion for, the less you focus on the bad or the anxiety. My current husband didn't think he was passionate about anything, but then he started working on himself. He started self-evaluating. He started asking God to help him see what his passions were.  The Lord led him (and I was on board) to leave his job that he had been struggling with. It took him leaving a field that he had been in for over 25 years for him to begin to see what he IS passionate about. It hasn't happened overnight, but it IS happening. It can happen for you too! 


3. Are you afraid to start over? 

     God showed me that starting over was giving myself a fresh start to a new beginning. One thing I had to learn though was how to let go. This started with letting go of memories that I was holding onto. Lots of it was materialistic things. Things that reminded me of my ex. Things that reminded me of the abuse. Things that reminded me of the bad. I got to a point where I was more comfortable with sleeping on the floor on an air mattress than I was with having something around that reminded me of death. The more I got rid of and learned to let go of, the better I felt. Materialistic things hold on to fear, emotions and trials. I don't know how it works, but I could feel the release when I let it go. I could feel healing start to happen when I learned to let go of some of those things. 

One thing I have learned is that God knows what things hold. When we don't ask or we don't think to ask, the enemy just keeps manipulating us through these things. It's better to let go and let God than to hold on with all our might or fight about a big screen TV when God is saying, I'll bring you another one if you just let it go. It may not be today or tomorrow, but He will bring you what matters the most. 


2 Timothy 1:7 - For God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power, of love and of a sound mind.

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